Global Hot Chocolate Rankings

There is a WILD phenomenon out there that drives me absolutely nuts: coffee shops having (apparently) no idea how to make a hot chocolate. More often than not, you order a hot chocolate and you get a cup of warm milk with a dusting of cocoa powder on top. I genuinely have no idea how they can pass this off as hot chocolate. Does no one taste test them? How do they even make them?? WHY ARE THEY SO BAD?! There’s rarely even a hint of chocolate flavour, let alone any sweetness or richness. It baffles me.
As a non-coffee drinker, hot chocolate is my go-to warm treaty and I’m tired of being disappointed. So I’ve embarked on a mission to uncover the finest cocoa concoctions across the globe. Welcome to my ever-expanding global hot chocolate rankings, where I leave no sip untested and no disappointment unspoken.

And no, this isn’t your average hot chocolate review. This is not sponsored by anyone, and I am under no obligation to be nice. This is a relentless quest for the real deal, an exploration that doesn’t shy away from candid criticism. It’s time to call out the imposters and celebrate the true champions of this cherished beverage. Your taste buds deserve nothing less than perfection, and I’m on a mission to separate the sublime from the mediocre. The hunt for the ultimate hot chocolate begins now, and I promise, there will be no sugarcoating the truth.

The scale?

Excellent.
This is for hot chocolates that actually taste like chocolate. For a drink I would go back and have again happily.
Pretty good
This is for the ones that do resemble chocolate, but aren’t quite perfect.
Warm milk
The worst offenders. The stuff for cats in cartoons.

Rankings:

Name	Location	Ranking	Notes
Starbucks	Everywhere	Excellent.	Consistent.
JK Bakery Cafe	Canmore, AB	Warm milk	Cute latte art?
EPICanmore	Canmore, AB	Warm milk	Great pastries tho
Hourglass	Perth, ON	Pretty good	Biked there so it hit extra hard
Home Plate	San Fran, CA	Excellent.	Good brunch too!
Maverik’s	Western USA	Excellent.	It’s a gas station
The Grove Cafe	Kitchener, ON	Warm milk	Excellent cookies
Zaro’s	Newark, NJ	Warm milk	Like really bad warm milk